Light and Shadow
by Ophelia Lake
Summary: Chris is many things; a whitelighter, a witch, a brother, a son.  But who is he underneath when all of his barriers are stripped away?  Who is Chris Perry?  A Chris revelation fic
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is my first Charmed story. It is a Chris Revelation fic and it is a WIP. It is a story I have been wanting to write for a long time. All mistakes are mine. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

"_Secrets, secrets, are no fun. Secrets, secrets, hurt someone." _

The childhood rhyme taunted Chris. He could hear it singing through his subconscious, over and over like a broken record. The looks on the sisters' faces - especially his mother's - when they repeatedly asked him for the truth and he'd had to tell them "future consequences" … Well, the phrase was even starting to get on _his_ nerves.

He just hadn't thought it would be this hard to keep the secret of his parentage, his roots.

Chris had been prepared to follow every lead that would aid him in finding the evil that had turned Wyatt. Chris had figured out how to map the different evils known at that time, and had done the research. He planned out how to get the book from Wyatt and had prepared to say goodbye to Bianca, even knowing that it might be the last time he'd ever see the love of his life. He had done all this while living in a war zone, evading detection, ignoring the raw hunger in his belly, and pretending his own older brother hadn't single-handedly destroyed the world.

Chris had even tried to prepare himself for the grim possibility that, if all else failed, he would have to eliminate Wyatt in the past; because when it came down to it, what was one brother weighed against the entire world, both magical and non-magical?

What he was not prepared for was looking into Piper's face, as he struggled to separate her from his mother in his mind, and hear her asking, "Who are you, Chris? … Why are you here?" He tried to hear, "I'll always love you, baby," when she screamed, "Get out or I'll blow you up!" But it was hard. Her "I love you's" existed only in his memory and her real voice was so very loud.

So here he was, after being kicked out of the manor _again,_ and it was cold, he was hungry, and he didn't know where else to go. Kinda like being back in his future - only the war was in his heart instead of spilling out onto the streets.

He could feel his own exhaustion like it was a living, breathing entity. It seemed that, with every breath he took, the weight of the responsibility sitting on his chest made it harder to draw in the next one. Sometimes he didn't want to be Chris Halliwell, second son of a Charmed One and an Elder, younger brother to the Twice Blessed, and leader of the resistance against said Twice Blessed.

But when Wyatt took power and the world started to fall, Chris found himself rising out of the rubble; though he was ever the reluctant leader struggling to hide his own insecurity and become what the world needed him to be. It hadn't mattered to anyone that Chris had always downplayed his own power; that Wyatt himself had always viewed him as his weaker little brother. All the war-torn, wilting survivors had wanted was for Chris to pull his Charmed heritage out and kick some ass. To save the world, or what was left of it.

Don't worry, guys. It's not too much responsibility for a homeless, orphaned 16-year-old, really.

Which was why, at 19 years of age, already a hardened veteran in his world, he now found himself in the past; a past in which he wasn't an all-powerful, all-knowing commander with organized armed forces that respected him. He wasn't a kid with a living, loving family either. Nope, he was the annoying, bitchy whitelighter who couldn't seem to convince the sisters to take him seriously.

So while his future waxed and waned, Christopher Halliwell, the leader of the resistance and the second most powerful witch ever born, sat on the top of the Golden Gate Bridge, utterly desolate and desperate.

Alone … again.

Piper was pissed - beyond pissed, actually, and she let her ire bleed through into her voice. "You want me to do _what_?"

"Call him. If you call him, he will come, and then our business will be concluded."

The demon blinked its serpent-like eyes and its forked tongue flicked out and in between its lips. Its sulfurous breath was hot on her face as it repeated, "Call him."

One hand lightly pushed the gleaming point of the sharp blade into the soft skin of her neck to emphasize its point. Piper tried to ignore the pained gasps of her sisters, instead comforting herself with the knowledge that at least Wyatt was safe with his father, for the time being, in Elderland. She could feel twin drops of her blood from the small nick join the already-falling beads of sweat as it slid a sticky trail down her skin.

The demon's tongue flicked out again as he watched her blood pool in the hollow of her throat. Piper didn't like Chris, didn't want him around, really, but she didn't want to sentence him to die either, and she could tell his death was definitely on the menu tonight - at least in the demon's eyes. However, she didn't want to die either and she would do anything to avoid losing another sister; so with those thoughts as motivation, Piper Halliwell tipped her head back to the Heavens and yelled, "_Chris_!"

He heard it the way he always heard his mother's voice, in his brain, in his blood, and in his soul all at once. She sounded mad … Great. Chris couldn't think what he could possibly have done to upset her in between the time she'd kicked him out and now, but apparently his talent in that area was boundless.

Mustering the remains of his battered emotional shield, he tried to remember his mission and how vitally important it was to everything, as he gathered his magic and orbed.

He re-formed in the conservatory. The familiar feel of stainless steel pressed into his back, encouraging him to stand absolutely still. What was going on?

Looking around frantically, he found the sisters huddled together on the floor, apparently unharmed, inside a crystal cage of some sort. The crystals were black and pulsated with a sickly, faint green color.

Piper refused to meet his gaze.

"Hello, Christopher."

Chris ignored his fear, ignored the sisters, ignored the voice even; he became the ruthless general, shoving everything else deep down inside.

"Who are you and what do you want?" he asked the demon.

"Who I am is not of importance. What I want is - quite simply – you. Or at least your powers. They smell delicious, and I'm in the mood for a delicacy."

The voice slithered around Chris, the owner still hiding behind Chris's line of sight.

"Oh, the things I could do with such power."

Piper, not one to be ignored for very long, asked, "Hey, what do you mean about power? He's just a whitelighter, for cripes' sake, and not a very good one at that!"

"Yeah," chimed in Paige insolently. "He can't even heal."

"Let's not get them to focus on us," cut in Phoebe. "If they _are_ power-eating demons, let's not tempt them with the powers of the Charmed."

"You couldn't tempt me if you tried, little witches. What I want is _juicier, _with just a hint of spice."

"Ewwww, gross," muttered Paige.

"But he's just a whitelighter," Piper stubbornly insisted.

"Whatever you want, just let the girls go. You have me now."

Chris tried not to let it hurt each time Piper's incredulous voice dismissed his worth and appeal, even if it was "appeal" only to a demon. He wanted them to think he was just a whitelighter, didn't he? But the little boy who had always felt second-best around Wyatt's, who'd lived always in Wyatt's shadow, couldn't help but feel his worthlessness proven yet again. _Even in the past they still know you're nothing, not blessed at all._

"I have what I want, now," said the oily voice. "You can be the main course. They, however … they can be the dessert."

"Hey," protested the sisters in unison. "You said if we called him you'd let us go."

"I lied," came the quick response. "Evil, remember? We tend to do that a lot."

Chris stood strong, back straight, arms down at his sides. His stance hid his inner turmoil; at least he hoped it did. A required skill for surviving war was to be able to pretend. Make believe you weren't hungry, pretend the blood of humanity wasn't washing the streets red. Convince others you were tougher than you really were so they'd leave you alone. Only problem was, after so long pretending it had become hard to see the line between truth and pretense. Somewhere along the way, Chris had become somewhat desensitized to danger and threats on his life.

He knew his own power and the depth of his personal arsenal. He was reasonably sure he could defeat this current threat; he just wasn't sure if he wanted to. It was just getting too damn hard. Piper hated him and he was no closer to eliminating the source of Wyatt's evil reign.

Hell, he didn't even think he had been conceived yet, what with his miscalculation in breaking up Piper and Leo. On the other hand, he just couldn't sit by and let the sisters die, despite them having served him up to this evil. Especially not when it was within his power to prevent it.

His cover was going to be a problem, though.

The demon, already tired of taunting the sisters, pressed even closer to Chris. The sharp burn of the blade bit into Chris's skin. He sniffed the air and then leaned in close, closing his eyes with a moan as he buried his nose in the space underneath Chris's collarbone.

"Such power," the demon murmured. "I'm going to gobble you all up, little witch, suck the marrow from your bones, swallow your soul until you're nothing but a faded memory."

"Well, then you're too late," said Chris. "I'm nothing more than a memory anyway. Soon I won't even exist."

The demon, half intoxicated already from licking Chris's blood from the ceremonial knife, said, "I'm surprised you're taking this so well. I'd prefer you to fight. Fear and adrenalin will make you taste all the sweeter."

"Well, I'm not dead yet and you were right about one thing. I am powerful." With that Chris mustered everything he had inside of him, felt the roiling magic coil up, waiting for his command.

With a sharp flick of his wrist he sent the demon careening into the wall. At the demon's outraged cry several others shimmered in to provide backup. Shrugging his shoulders, Chris bounced lightly on the balls of his feet. He could vanquish them with an explosion of power, but it would take too much out of him, leaving him vulnerable in front of the sisters. Besides, all of a sudden he was spoiling for a fight, memories of sparring in the manor's basement with Wyatt making his brow quirk up in nostalgia. _Bring it on_, he thought.

It wasn't long before he got what he wished for.

He quickly sent a wave of telekinesis towards the cage corralling the sisters. Once the prison was shattered, he turned to focus on the rushing horde of demons. With a hiss and a pop he released his daggers at the sheaths on his wrists. They fit snugly, comfortably, in his hands.

The first of the snarling, rushing demons reached him and Chris stepped into its advance. He brought his arm across its body, making quick slashes with the daggers. As the first demon fell gurgling to the floor, Chris heard another step. He turned and on the half pivot he slashed his way through that and several other demons. Their blood coated him and it burned like acid, bubbling and foaming on his exposed skin.

Demons just kept pouring in, slipping and sliding on the floor that was covered with glowing, green blood and chunks of discarded demonic flesh. Piper stood in front of her sisters, blowing up as many demons as she could, but Chris could see she was growing tired. Behind her, Paige called for athames and sent them spiraling towards enemy targets, each one flying on a flutter of brilliant blue orbs. Phoebe fought hand-to-hand, with kicks and punches, but she too appeared to be tiring.

Gritting his teeth, Chris reached out and closed his fist, telekinetically snapping several necks. He began cutting a path towards the sisters, needing to shield them, so that when he unleashed his magic in its most basic and brutal form they would be safe.

The closer he got to Piper, the more his abused heart broke. Even in the midst of battle, she still found the time to spare him a withering glance, as if somehow this was all his fault. Which it probably was, as the demon had used the sisters as bait to lure Chris into its trap. He tried not to remember past battles in which protecting him had been his mother's main focus. Tried to remind himself that this wasn't his mother, not yet, maybe never. The demon horde consistently replenished itself; when one was taken down, two more appeared, ready and able to fight. Out of the corner of his eye Chris saw Phoebe stagger and fall to the ground. He put on an extra burst of speed to make it over to her.

Reaching down, he gripped Phoebe's shoulder and hauled her up. Together they covered the remaining ground separating them from Piper and Paige.

"Get together," yelled Chris. "Cover your eyes, and don't open them until I say so!"

"What?" demanded Piper indignantly, twisting to blow up a demon who was hanging over them from the chandelier. Green chunks fell with sickingly wet plops onto Paige's hair. "We can't close our eyes, they'll overpower us!"

Chris had no choice but to continue with his plan if he hoped to succeed before someone other than the evil demons were hurt.

"Now," screamed Chris.

Power and anguish vibrated through Chris as he whispered an incantation to protect the sisters while he vanquished the demons. Phoebe grabbed Piper, who still resisted, and together she and Paige pulled her down onto the floor. They covered their heads with their arms.

Chris could feel the power building inside of him, a white-hot, molten cascade, whipping itself into a frenzy. It wanted out.

With a primal yell, he released his natural barriers. As the magic rushed out of him, he stood frozen, quivering like a butterfly pinned through its delicate wings. A brilliant crystal blue, the color of orbs during transition, began to pulsate around his body. For a few precious seconds it was deathly and unnaturally quiet, like the eye of a terrible and destructive storm. Then all hell broke loose.

The light simply exploded, simultaneously taking every demon with it. It was hot and cold all at once, quiet, but so loud it hurt the sisters' ears. They could do nothing but wait for it to pass.

Piper was the first to move. She gingerly raised her head, eyes seeking to summarize the total damage done to her home. She was surprised to find nothing but her whitelighter, slumped unconscious and pale at her feet. The demons were gone, even the remains of those she herself had exploded before Chris had done…. whatever it was. She reached over and inspected Paige's hair, laughing slightly hysterically at the sight of her perfect and demon-goo-free red locks.

"Wow," murmured Phoebe. "Best cleanup ever."

"Yeah, about that," began Paige, a questioning look on her face as she gazed at Chris. "Are we sure he's just a whitelighter?"

"No," answered Piper. "And we'll find out what's going on. Now, more than ever, he needs to tell us the truth. But he can't do it unconscious. So, let's get him on the couch and call Leo to heal him."

The sisters, in agreement, muscled Chris onto the couch, surprised at how light he actually was. Piper set about calling for Leo. Now the only thing left to do was to wait…and to wonder.

AN II: Please review! I am very interested in improving my writing, any and all feedback will be much appreciated. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my story. I hope you enjoyed it, and I'll see you next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Here is the second chapter. Hope you like it. I own nothing but the mistakes. For the purpose of this story, no one knows Chris is half witch/ half whitelighter. Bianca hasn't happened yet.

The soft light of orbs filled the conservatory. Piper tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for Leo to re-form. The bitter pain hit her as it always did, swift and brutal, when she was faced with Leo, her personal reminder that love was unattainable for the Halliwell women; that love was doomed for _her._

Leo appeared, swathed in brilliant blue, his eyes crinkling at the corners, his blond hair falling softly onto his forehead, and Piper had to clench her fists at her sides so as not to reach out and touch him. He was holding Wyatt, propped on one hip, and Wyatt was gurgling happily, content with his increasingly rare daddy time. Piper bit down on her lip hard enough to taste her own blood, the metallic taste sitting on the tip of her tongue, heavy with regret and longing.

"Blessed be."

God, how she wanted to tell him to take his blessed be and cram it up his ass, but airing her frustrations wouldn't help her to achieve the primary objective. Which was to find out who Chris Perry was and what the hell he wanted with her beautiful baby boy; for that she needed him alive and well. Taming her infamous temper, Piper pointed at a still unconscious Chris lying on the couch. "Heal now, bless later."

Leo shifted his gaze to follow the graceful arc of Piper's arm. His serene gaze widened slightly as he took in the unnaturally still whitelighter. As he moved over to Chris, Leo turned to address Piper. "What has he gotten himself into now?" Leo couldn't quite place his finger on the reason why he inherently mistrusted the shaggy haired Angel, but he did, and the knowledge burned a cold fire in his gut.

It was Phoebe who answered his question. "A demon got into the house. He wanted Chris and he used us as bait." Alarmed now, Leo turned to give the girls a closer inspection, eyes carefully discerning between injured and not. Satisfied the only casualty appeared to be Chris, he once again turned back to the fallen whitelighter.

"We're fine," Piper said shortly answering Leo's unspoken question.

"_Some_ of us are fine," retorted Paige, jerking her head in the direction of the couch, her red hair bouncing with the quick stilted movement.

Phoebe was sitting, perched on the arm of the sofa, one hand resting lightly against the sweaty brown locks as Chris slumbered on unaware. She always was too trusting, Leo thought regarding Phoebe, much in the way Piper was impatient and Paige sarcastic. He sighed inwardly even as he placed his hand against Chris's shoulder. The golden glow reached out, the soft healing light, encompassing Chris's whole body. Leo placed his other hand against the worn fabric of Chris's shirt feeling the bony shoulder through the material. What happened he wondered, it was taking more energy to heal him than Leo had expected.

Piper watched as Leo healed Chris. It never failed to amaze her how beautiful her husband looked when he was using his gifts to heal and to save. It was why even though every atom in her body cried out in furious pain; she couldn't begrudge him his calling, not when he was capable of giving so much.

At least during her better moments. The other times, well… Piper was tempted to call Leo to the manor just so she could have the pleasure of blowing him up. Piper tried to quiet her inner turmoil. "Why is it taking so long?" She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, narrowly missing Wyatt as he played on the floor with his toys, blissfully unaware to the tension coursing through the adults around him.

"I don't know," answered Leo frowning slightly as he narrowed his gaze in utter focus and concentration. "It's as if he ran out of magical energy, much the way you can run a battery down." Leo lifted his hands and turned to face the sisters. "I've done what I can for him, now he needs to sleep it off, rebuild his magical stores. Rest will be the only way to accomplish this. Only, it's strange…"

"What," broke in Paige, her eyes already gleaming with the presentation of a puzzle.

"Well, his energy is like no other whitelighter energy I've seen, even that as strong as an elder."

"He's been here for months, Leo," fumed Piper outraged. "Are you telling me he's more powerful than an elder and you're just _now _picking up on it?"

"Yeah," broke in Paige, stalking over to join her sister in staring down the sleeping Angel. "You've healed him before right? What gives Leo?" Phoebe just continued to stroke Chris's hair while looking down at him thoughtfully.

Leo paced, gesturing with his hands as he talked. The longer he found himself on Earth, with the sisters, the easier it was to shed the serenity of his newly acquired position. He barely even noticed his own agitated gait as he tried to rationalize the quandary that was Chris Perry. "The only logical explanation is he has been lying to us all this time. He has been blocking all of us, keeping the full extent of his power a secret. It would take someone pretty powerful to shield like that."

"Why would someone do that?" Piper's voice broke as she looked at Wyatt sitting on the floor running his cars around and making vroom vroom noises all to himself. "What kind of agenda would require infiltrating our home and lying to us?"

"Let's put him in a crystal cage." This from Paige.

"Just take him away, Leo. Get him away from our son."

"Wait!" Phoebe's voice was like a breath of fresh air, calming and soothing, a neutral balm to counteract the hostility waiting to bubble and brew. "Don't you guys remember, he saved us? He pulled us out of a crystal cage. He took on tons of demons, demons that wanted to eat him like he was a delicacy. And obviously at great personal risk to himself," Phoebe nodded at Chris. "I don't think he's the bad guy here."

"Well excuse me if I don't fall into line behind your judgment. You didn't think Cole was a bad guy either. He made you Queen of the Underworld, Phoebe!" Piper's words sunk into Phoebe like the well-aimed darts that they were, and she sucked in her breath on an almost muffled gasp.

"I'm sorry," Piper muttered. "I am Pheebs, but…"

"We need the truth," finished Paige. "It's long overdue."

"I think, you better tell me exactly what happened here, before he wakes up. Then when he does, we'll know what questions to ask." Leo didn't like feeling out of the loop. He wanted answers.

"We told you," began Piper struggling to be calm and orderly when all she wanted was _action _and _find answers now!_ "It was just a normal day until this green gross serpent demon shimmered in."

"Yeah, and he got pretty touchy feely with his knife too." Paige smirked but it was strained at the edges and just a bit sharp.

"He wanted Chris," said Phoebe. Her posture was ridged, her expression grim.

"He wanted me to call Chris," put in Piper. "He said if I called him Chris would come and then he would let us go." She looked down, shame momentarily crossing her features. "All he wanted was Chris."

"But Chris came and fought them. He saved us," repeated Phoebe still determined to champion the unconscious pale form residing on their couch.

"But how," continued Paige. "He fought them, yeah. But not with any whitelighter powers I've ever seen. He used telekinesis and had major fighting skills."

"And that power at the end… I don't even know what it was but it took out every single demon here." Piper bit her lip scanning the walls. "It even cleaned the walls, floors, and all the dead demon goo. It was just gone."

"Like a Molly Maid on black magic speed," mumbled Paige. She gave a startled yelp when Phoebe kicked her, disapprovingly.

"He saved us," Phoebe repeated just in case her two stubborn sisters hadn't heard her the first thirteen times.

"Okay," said Leo, "but you can't deny Chris Perry used powers far greater than he should possess. And although he used them to help you this time, if he is as powerful as you say, what will stop him from hurting you next time?"

"Which is why we need to know the truth," seethed Piper, clenching her clammy fisted hands. _I will not blow things up, I will not blow things up, I will not…" _

"Crystals" Paige called the crystals and put them in a circle around Chris.

"What are you doing?" questioned Phoebe indignantly.

"We need to find out the truth. Chris Perry is a being of supreme power, in our home, with an unknown agenda. I'm just taking the necessary precautions to keep us safe while we question him."

"Please Phoebe," implored Piper taking her hand in her own. "Help me keep us safe, help me protect Wyatt."

"Yeah, Pheebs. It's just until we know the truth." Paige gripped Phoebe's other hand in her own. The Halliwell sisters stood united, bound by ties both familial and magical in strength. Phoebe could feel her resolve crumbling, disintegrating underneath the force of Piper's twisted combination of love and fear

"Okay. But just until he proves you guys wrong about his motivations. Then we let him out and say thank you for saving our lives. Agreed?"

"Agreed," affirmed the sisters.

"Agreed," echoed Leo after Piper's elbow landed amidst his soft robs, making contact with his stomach.

"So now we just need him to wake up," bemoaned Paige.

And so they waited while Christopher Halliwell, drained, in pain, out of time and unloved slept the dreamless empty sleep of the truly depleated.

AN II: Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for all of your kind reviews for the previous chapter. I really want to improve my writing so any other reviews for this chapter are always appreciated it!


	3. Chapter 3

AN I: Hello, sorry for the long delay in updates. Real life has been exhausting and nauseatingly selfish in its demands! Any whoo; I own nothing but the mistakes, this is unbeta'd, so I wasn't lying when I claimed the mistakes. I'm sure there are quite a few. Please enjoy and don't hesitate to review and tell me what you think!

Chris fought his way back to consciousness slowly, one exhausted inch at a time. He knew, the minute he opened his eyes, the sisters would pounce. He also knew he wouldn't be able to orb for a while, not until his natural magical energy built back up.

So, he'd be stuck. Powerless.

In his childhood home, that wasn't his home, with his family, that wasn't his family, and with people who hated him… awesome.

The last time he'd been this depleted… Well, it hadn't been fun then either and it had taken him forever to regain his natural power. It was why he tried to avoid using his basic and most pure magic. He'd always downplayed his power, preferring to strengthen his analytical prowess, practice his potions making and spell casting. He had plenty of power at his fingertips from his Halliwell and Whitelighter stock without dipping into the uncharted territory that was his and Wyatt's unique gifts.

Wyatt however reveled in it. The current source of evil had practiced and harnessed his _gifts_ until he could maintain and use them without enduring the physical and mental toll Chris always seemed to pay. Figures. Course, Wyatt was too selfish to give wholly of himself which probably explained why his stores were never rock bottom depleted.

Chris was adept at playing possum, it was a skill that came in handy his whole life. Whether it was jumping into bed and pretending to be asleep so he and Wyatt wouldn't get caught playing orb and seek after bedtime, or lying among the helpless carnage he's been unable to prevent hoping he looked dead enough to not get dead. He used it now, to avoid the interrogation he knew was brewing. And boy was it ever.

Chris kept his eyes closed, fluttering softly every now and again to mimic REM sleep. He allowed his breath to flow in out slowly and evenly. And he listened.

The sisters were nothing if not predictable.

"Why isn't he waking up yet Leo?" This from Paige. Chris found it hilarious that she was impatient in whatever timeline she was in.

"I don't know Paige; he needs time to rest and regenerate. He just needs time," Leo finished wearily. Chris could picture his father perfectly; golden robes impeccable, not a hair out of place, but his elegant fingers were probably pinching the bridge of his nose. It was a unique headache, he'd often claimed only Chris had ever given him.

"Remember, when he wakes up, we need to thank him for saving us. _Especially _since we called him down here and put him in danger in the first place." Phoebe's soft tones came from somewhere around the top of Chris's head and he imagined her gentle heart was pressing her to sit close, ready to offer him moral support when he woke up. Chris was counting on her good nature in helping to facilitate him getting out of the manor in one piece.

He could hear the quiet hum of crystals and tried not to let it hurt him, knowing that the sisters distrusted Chris so much that they had cast him in a captive crystal circle.

But it did.

Chris could hear more huffing, and pacing, and dramatic sighs. The sisters weren't known for their patience after all. But the one person he didn't hear was the one he was waiting for most of all. Piper wasn't one to be quiet, so where the hell was she?

It wasn't until Paige spoke again that Chris realized where Piper was.

"Is Piper done putting Wyatt down because I think we should wake Chris up. He's slept long enough."

"Nah," answered Phoebe, "she's not so much putting Wyatt _down_ as trying to smother him with love until the memories of today go away. I mean imagine if he'd been in the house."

"Nobody better hurt my nephew," muttered Paige darkly.

"And nobody will," reaffirmed Leo, "especially if they're an annoying white lighter from the future with huge hidden power."

"Wyatt is safe, Leo." Phoebe's voice changed directions and Chris knew that she had moved over to Leo, offering him comfort as they all worried about Wyatt. He felt cold in her absence, even though she had been outside the circle; she'd at least been there.

He wanted to shout _I was in the house too; I'm your nephew too. _But he didn't. Chris bit the inside of his lip and was ashamed to feel a burning pressure build behind his eyelids. I thought I was all done with tears, he thought, willing them not to fall.

His limbs still felt heavy and exhausted, his heart beat sluggishly against his ribs. Chris could taste the metallic bite of blood against his thick and swollen tongue. He knew he needed to _wake_ up and deal with the sisters and Leo, but everything felt rusty and distant.

He wondered how long he could pretend to sleep.

He heard her moving into the room first, her steps light and measured, and as familiar to him as his own. This wasn't his mother, this was Piper, he kept trying to tell himself; but it was hard. She sounded the same, looked the same, and even smelled the same, and all of it made Christ want to forget his mission, leave behind the memories of the terrible future, and crawl right into his mom's arms. If it was _his _mother, she'd hug him, ruffle his hair, and call him peanut. She's help Chris to figure out what was wrong with the future and she would _right _it; and then maybe Chris's shoulders wouldn't have to buckle and break under the strain of the of the whole freaking world.

But she wasn't his mother, not yet, maybe not ever.

"Wake him up Leo," Piper's voice was hard and determined; a mother bear protecting her cub. "I want to talk to him now! I want the truth now! And then I want to remove this threat out of my home and away from my son!" With each statement Piper's voice grew a little louder and a little colder. Chris could almost hear the restraint she was employing in trying not to blow him up, the room practically vibrated with it.

"I don't know what you expect me to do Piper; he'll wake when he's ready." Leo's voice was exasperated. Not the picture perfect elder are we now Leo, thought Chris.

"Maybe there's a spell to wake someone," suggested Phoebe.

"Yeah, we can check the book," remarked Paige. "Maybe a potion…" Her voice trailed off and the sound of pages flipping could be heard instead.

"I don't care how we get the truth, but one way or another, we are going to find out who Chris Perry is," muttered Piper.

"Ohh," murmured Paige excitedly, "here is a spell to dream walk into someone else's dreams. That could be exciting."

"What are the ingredients," asked Piper.

"Guys, I suggest waking him, not go traipsing through his brain. Don't you think that's a gross invasion of privacy, he saved us remember," reiterated Phoebe.

"Oh stuff it Pheebs, this is for Wyatt," came Piper's voice.

This was getting out of hand. Chris really hadn't thought they'd resort to torture or spells, yet here they were gathering ingredients. If you can face down an army of demons and your sadistic evil older brother then this should be cake, Chris tried to tell himself.

Chris swallowed and moaning a little with the effort, opened his eyes. His muscles screamed in protest, every nerve ending in his body frayed and angry, but somehow he managed to wiggle and worm into a seated position within the circle. He was trying really hard to ignore the fact that hours ago he'd saved the sisters from captivity in a crystal circle, and now they put him into one.

"Hey, guys," Chris's voice was rusty, the words grating together like jagged shards of broken glass. Four heads with identical looks of suspicion and shock snapped around to meet his gaze.

And it begins, thought Chris.

AN II: Thank you for reading and bearing though with me over the long wait for updates. Please review, for some reason this chapter was really hard to get out and I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	4. Chapter 4

AN I: I own nothing related to Charmed, this is unbeta'd so forgive the mistakes which I am sure are there. Enjoy and please review.

_In and out. In and out_

Chris was trying to regulate his breathing, in through his nose, out through his mouth. If he could focus on simple commands then he could continue to ignore the fact that his family were gathered together, staring at him, waiting to dissect him like a helpless bug nailed to the wall. He could feel the weight of their stares pushing on him. Their anger and mistrust were perceived as physical sensations sitting cold in his stomach and prickling up his spine.

And that wasn't even the worst of his problems

Chris's magic was a part of him, much the way his hair curled at the nape of his neck or the way his heart sped up at a fight. It was coded into him, same as the color of his eyes or his long distance lung capacity. And he had essentially ripped it out, forcibly throwing it away from his own body to save the sisters; to have it gone was such a debilitating sensation.

He felt heavy, like part of a puzzle, only he was jagged and frayed, no longer fitting into the perfect place. His lungs hurt; every breath shaky and stunted. His limbs were vibrating with the strain of remaining upright. He had only been through this twice before; each time it was a willing sacrifice, a decision made in a split second, during a life or death situation.

And each time it sucked.

This time though, he had the added benefit of recovering during an interrogation hosted by the Charmed Ones, _not my family_ he reminded himself. He could hear mutterings as they flipped through the book and earmarked spells and ingredients needed for seeking the truth. They had returned to the book when their first series of questions remained unanswered. Had Chris not given up his magic for a while, he could have thrown off or fooled a truth spell. Now, he wasn't too sure. One thing he did know was that knowing the truth would only hurt the sisters, and it wouldn't do anybody any good.

His vision wavered and Chris could feel his eyes rolling back into his head, as his body instinctively tried to pass out, attempting to save itself from the fight ahead.

_Thwack._

Chris jumped, feeling something slam into him.

"Hey," he yelled indignantly. "Did you just throw a shoe at me? Seriously."

Piper stood glaring at him, hands on her hips, and body out of alignment. The mate to the shoe which had just sailed through the air launched at Chris's head was on Piper's foot, the other now bare.

"You don't get to go back to sleep, mister! We still have questions for you."

"But, but" sputtered Chris. "The crystals…"

"Oh, we modified it, so we can put things in but nothing out."

"Like food," put in Phoebe.

"Or shoes," muttered Chris.

"Piper's shoe," called Paige, her hand outstretched to receive the offending item. "What," asked Paige at Piper's raised eye brow. "Honey one shoe isn't a good look for you, and knowing this one, he could turn your sling back into a weapon. Her hair bounced with the movement of her gestures. "You can thank me later."

"Look," began Chris, "this doesn't change anything. I still can't tell you about the future, which means I can't answer your questions. If I do, it could mess up the future worse than it already is." His voice trailed off as his chest heaved to suck in another breath. "I won't risk all that I'm fighting for, to satisfy your indulgent curiosity." At that he looked at Paige, betrayal shining in his eyes, "You can thank _me _for that later."

"Chris, the safety of this family, of our son, does not make our questions simply a curiosity." Leo spoke this time. Chris had almost forgotten he was in the room, being overshadowed by the sisters' palpable anger. Leo's voice had a sickening saccharine quality to it, attempting to pacify, but it only made Chris nauseous. "This family's safety comes before anything else," Leo continued, pacing in full lecture mode.

He tried not to let it hurt, that he was mistrusted and hated, even feared. Like everyone is his world felt about Wyatt. _We're not so different, you and I, little brother, _Wyatt's voice floated through his mind, bringing with it agonizing whispers, seeds of doubt and shame. No Wyatt, thought Chris, I am nothing like you. But his shields were in tatters, his heart and soul raw and unprotected; a lone nerve ending, screaming under an unfettered unforgiving assault.

"That's why I'm here," burst out Chris, "for this family's safety." He looked at the sisters, "I saved you didn't I, and I've told you what I can. Why isn't that enough?"

We don't need your help," sneered Piper. "You have brought nothing but lies and danger. You say you're here to save Wyatt, but all you've done is bring more death and destruction upon this doorstep." Piper glared at him, anger and fear for her son fueling her words, like kerosene on top of an already raging flame. "You will give me my answers, and then you will get out, I never want to see you again!"

Chris felt her words, each one a stab against his battered and bruised heart. He barely heard Phoebe's protest, reminding the sisters that he had saved them and he deserved to be heard. All he could hear was Piper, deadly calm, telling him to get out.

"I don't care Phoebe, if my son needs saving then _we _will do it."

"I'll just leave, if you'll let me out of here, I'll never bother you again." Chris gestured at the crystals, feeling oddly disconnected from the situation. Pain was beating inside of him, trying to get a hold. He bit his lips, determined not to fall apart in from of them. Somewhere at the back of his mind, he knew that if he left things the way they were now, he'd never be born. At least then he could make good on his promise never to bother them again, thought Chris darkly.

"Who are you," asked Paige.

"Future consequences," answered Chris in a tired voice.

"What is the true intent of your mission here," asked Leo.

"To save Wyatt," answered Chris dully.

"Why is it your job to save Wyatt" asked Phoebe.

"Future consequences," answered Chris.

"Why are you specifically here" asked Piper

"Future conseq…."

Piper's enraged yell broke off Chris's expected reply.

"What do you want from me," he screamed. "I've bled for you, I've almost died for you, and I'd do it again if need be. Why isn't that enough?"

His voice broke, and all of a suddenly it was too much. Emotions that had been dormant swirled to the top, cascading out of Chris in a cathartic explosion, taking Leo and the sisters down with the force of their intensity; and like a sapling in the face of gale winds, Chris broke; splintered from the inside.

Magic shoved deep, in stores he didn't even know he had, gurgled to life, kicking and screaming as Chris sobbed curled up on the floor. His magic couldn't be contained in the crystal cage, and it blew around the room. The sister's hair flew around their faces, clothing whipping tight around their tensed bodies. Around them they looked in amazement as the windows shattered, furniture slammed up and down, and everything on the shelves kept leaping off to circle around the room on a frantic flight above Chris's bent head.

Phoebe screamed in response to Chris's unfettered emotions, her empathy finally gaining access behind Chris's shields. Wrapping her hands around her head, she began moaning and shaking under the full force of his pain and anguish.

"Stop," yelled Paige. "You're hurting her." She rushed to Phoebe and tried to help her up.

"Help," screamed Piper as she crawled on all fours towards the circle, her eyes meeting Leo's, across the attic. Piper managed to get close, her nose almost touching his hair, if not for the magical barrier of the crystals. The low keening sound emanating from Chris pricked at her heart. He really is just a boy, she thought. Shoving those thoughts deep, she swallowed, but so is Wyatt and he is my boy, my priority. Not someone else's lost boy.

"Chris," she tried getting as clos e to him as she could. No response and the torrential storm around the room was growing.

"He has to stop, yelled Leo, trying to make himself be heard above the noise. "He was already too wiped out, using this amount of power so soon after could kill him. We'll never learn the truth if that happens." Piper tried again.

"Chris," she yelled. "Christopher," she barked. His thin shoulders jerked against the worn fabric of his shirt at the use of his full name

"Stop it Christopher Perry, right now!" Piper commanded, putting as much reprimand in her voice as she could, literally pressed to the floor under Chris's emotional onslot.

The crystals exploded, sparkling dust raining down onto Piper and Chris, like a warm spring shower. Nothing separated Chris from the sisters and Leo, nothing but the burned out hollow shell of white lighter, who was looking more and more like a boy and less and less like an eternal angel. Piper wondered how old he had been when he died.

His back was quivering under his shirt, and his eyes were hidden behind dark sweaty bangs. Paige and Phoebe crawled until they were shoulder to shoulder with Piper, all hunched around Chris. Phoebe looked pale and shaky, her eyes bright with shared pain. She laid a tremulous hand against Chris's back, refusing to back down, when her simple touch elicited a guttural cry, ripped from Chris's throat.

"We didn't mean to hurt you Chris; we know you are just trying to help." At this she looked pointedly at her sisters, using the shadows under her eyes and hollowed out cheekbones to drive her point home. "But we've come to a point where we need answers, Chris. You don't have to tell us everything, but we need more than what you've given. We just do, Chris." Phoebe kept her voice light and even, struggling to figure out how one body could hold so much pain and still walk around upright.

"No compromises," spoke Piper tersely. "he gives us the truth or I vanquish him. I'm not letting a threat to Wyatt go unanswered."

Phoebe looked at Piper, flanked by Paige. "well, you don't get everything you want, do you."

Chris was feeling detached again, floating while he felt sorry for the broken boy in front of him. Pathetically grateful for Phoebe's warm hand against his back, he struggled to stay conscious, but the whiplash of power fueled by the rock bottom crashing of his emotional shields continued to ping pong around inside of him; making him dizzy. He was so spent, that his vision kept wavering, bringing with it flashes of his future between the sisters now. Like a strobe light the images interchanged until Chris wasn't sure where he was, only that the place was familiar and the presences reassuring.

Turning his head, Chris focused on Piper. This is it, he thought, I'm dying. He could feel his heart beating sluggishly and erratically against his chest, his breaths were uneven and staggered. No one should use that much power, he thought, guess I really am burning out.

"Sorry, mom," he wheezed before he felt the world go dark.

AN II: It would make my day if you review!


	5. Chapter 5

AN I: I know an update so soon from me, totally unprecedented, and not to be repeated too often if we're being honest. But, all of your lovely reviews have inspired me to keep plugging away. So, as a reward, here you go. I managed to get this down in between checking my kids homework and cooking dinner. I burned dinner by the way. Anywhoo, unbeta'd and I own nothing. Thank you again so much for the reviews, I hope you enjoy.

Thump…thump, thump, thump….thump…thump…thump, thump….thump…_silence._

"Leo, do something." Phoebe screamed.

Paige, always cool and collected under fire, was at Chris's head, fingers pressed into his clammy skin. Her hair was skewed, red curls going every direction and her expression was bleak. "I can't find a pulse," she murmured

"Leo," Phoebe screamed again, her voice shrill and desperate. She began pumping on his chest, basic first aid flitting through her mind. Leo held his hands over Chris, his glow golden and steady, sweat rolling down his face. Piper watched in fascination as the tiny effervescent drops rolled off Leo's skin to land with tiny wet plops on Chris's chest. If you looked from the right angle they almost looked like tears. That can't be right, thought Piper, Leo wouldn't be crying over Chris.

It was like she was watching a movie, one of those really bad made straight to video movies, and she wanted to turn it off; but she couldn't.

Leo was healing as fast as he could, eyes screwed tight in concentration, arms shivering with angelic exertion. Phoebe was pumping against Chris's chest, braced above him, trying to get as much physical power out of her tiny frame as she could muster; trying desperately to keep Chris going long enough to give Leo's healing a chance. Paige was breathing for Chris, holding his chin up and pinching his nose, during their pauses she would gamely press her fingers to his neck and then grimly shake her head.

He hadn't said mom, had he?

Piper shook her head, blinked her eyes, and drew one shaky breath after another. Her feet where she was sitting on them, were going numb, tiny pins and needles to demand she move. But she couldn't, because Chris had just called her mom, and it had been a terrible mistake that needed to be corrected. He needed to wake up right now and tell her he was wrong. There was no way he was her son.

Her son wouldn't be dying right now, in front of her.

Her son wouldn't be going to his death thinking she hated him. Not her son.

Her feet were still asleep and her chest felt funny, a pressure was building behind her eyes.

"Not my son" she said over and over, a mantra to keep her tethered to her sanity. She didn't realize she was screaming it at the top of her lungs until she saw Leo's concentration break and he looked at her in shock before he resumed his arduous task of trying to revive Chris.

"Not my son," she repeated softly, steel coursing through her tone. She watched as Phoebe collapsed over Chris, panting, tremors running up and down her arms.

"Switch with me," she heard Paige demand and watched as her sisters scuttled around Chris's still body, swapping positions and jobs. Paige pumped Chris's chest, Phoebe provided the air, and Leo continued to pour out healing energy. And Piper watched, stunned and in shock.

Almost against her will, her eyes traced every feature, followed the soft curve of his jaw, saw the dark hair and dramatic slashes of the brows, and knew her face held many of the same characteristics. The eyes, those reminded her of Leo and Wyatt. Not my son, she thought raggedly, brokenly.

Lots of people have dark hair, she thought to herself. And magic. And wait a minute; he couldn't be her son because he was a white lighter which meant he had already died. Except he had shown powers a white lighter wouldn't have; just how popular was having forbidden love with your charges in the future, anyway? Maybe there was a whole generation of witch lighters running around, plenty of them had to have dark hair.

And that was a good thing because Chris couldn't be her son, some other mother would be crying tonight.

But he had called her mom and he had her cheekbones and Leos eyes. And he was so determined to save Wyatt, it would make sense that family would fight to save family.

No, no, no thought Piper frantically, he is not my son. But the hollow feeling in her stomach was intensifying with each pump on Chris's chest and her hands itched to blow something up, anything to get rid of this horrible feeling coursing through her body. The feelings of failure and shame.

Because if Piper let herself even consider for just one moment that Chris was her son, the things she had said, the things she had done; it was unfathomably bad.

"Piper," Leo called. "Get over here and help." Piper jerked at the sound of Leo's voice, could barely meet his eyes and his expectations that she get over there and _do _something. "Piper," he called again.

Piper shoved herself to a halting movement, feeling uncontrolled and disconnected, as she crawled on all fours the remaining feet to where her not-son lay. Her feet flopped uselessly behind her, as they had been numb for some time, the sound of her shoes dragging across the floor scraped against her mind like metal on metal, grinding and destroying.

She reached Leo. She didn't know what he expected her to do; didn't he know this wasn't their son?

"Piper, place your hands on mine, help me heal him."

Even as she placed her hands against his, and her heart stuttered at the contact, she whispered, "he's not ours Leo, I'd know it, I would."

Leo swallowed at the painful desperation in his wife's voice. He felt her soft touch, her skin burning against his. He closed his eyes, searching for the focus needed, drawing on Piper's power to supplement his own.

"Paige, Phoebe, stop what you're doing and place your hands on ours. Concentrate on pushing your magic out, into Chris."

"But," sputtered Paige, her voice cracking, "his heart isn't beating Leo. He needs the CPR, he isn't breathing."

"No," responded Phoebe, "Leo is right. Magic did this, magic will fix it. It just takes all of us, together." At this they all looked at Piper.

"What, I'm here aren't I. Heal, heal," she muttered but her words were missing their usual fire and her voice sounded hollow and so very alone.

Giving her magic, even to help someone, felt just plain awful. And Chris had done this very same thing willingly to save her and the sisters. Still she gave, her faith and trust in Leo holding her still, even as her mind continued to catalogue the differences and similarities between Chris and herself.

Finally Leo slumped wearily, breathing hard, drenched in sweat.

"I've got a pulse" called Phoebe excitedly.

"I think he'll live," stuttered Leo exhaustion derailing his words.

"So we wait for him to wake up, _again._ Anybody else sensing a pattern here?"

"I guess" answered Leo. "Honestly I've never seen someone that magically depleted and live to tell about it."

Phoebe laid her hand on Chris's brow, eyes closed in concentration. "I don't think this is a natural sleep, guys. We may have healed his body, but his mind feels different to me, like he's locked it away. I don't think he's going to wake up on his own." She looked at Leo worriedly, biting her lips.

Leo reached over to re-scan Chris while Paige shoved Chris's lax foot a few times. 'Hey, Chris. Time to wake up, mister."

He looked so peaceful to Piper's eyes. Chris was always sarcastic, or worried, or huffy over something. Now, he was sleeping, long limbs splayed loosely at his sides, head lolled against one bony shoulder, soft snores rumbling free from his chest. Just looking at him, it was hard to remember moments before he had been on the brink of death. Even harder still to reconcile the power magical being she'd felt threatened by with the unconscious form on her floor.

"Well, that's not going to work," said Piper stanchly. "He needs to wake up so we can find our answers and then get him back to his time and to his own mother." She stressed the word mother, because Chris was someone else's son.

Piper,' Leo sighed. "When I was healing him, I was connected, I had to" his voice broke a bit and Leo ducked his head to regain composure. "I essentially had to put him _back _together again, and there were things that were familiar. I don't know how to explain it, other than he's built like a Halliowell."

"With a little bit of Angel thrown in," smirked Paige

Umph, out whooshed Paige's breath.

"What," asked Paige, as Phoebe elbowed her, "too soon?"

Suddenly Phoebe squealed, jumping up on unsteady legs to reach the book. "The spell to walk in someone's dreams, we can reach him that way."

Paige and Phoebe started gathering ingredients, muttering between themselves on what they would need.

Piper still sat frozen, spent. Her hand lay on top of Leo's where they both still rested against Chris's heart. He slept on, while Piper stared at her husband across the chasm that was full of so many broken things. Would Chris be one more broken thing between them, she wondered.

"He's not," she began stubbornly.

"He is," spoke Leo, equally as stubborn.

And when Piper let go, and the tears fell, Leo caught her and held on. Together they held vigil over their son.

ANII: Thanks for reading and supporting. Please leave a review on your way out.


	6. Chapter 6

AN I: Thank you for reading. I really struggled with this chapter. I own nothing but the mistakes. Please review, it would make my day. Tell me, I can take it!

Piper stood in the attic. Paige had orbed Chris's unconscious body up a while ago and now he lay on the couch. Phoebe had covered him with Aunt Pearl's afghan. But Piper couldn't make herself go over and tough him; not yet. Leo was sitting over next to Chris, legs folded on the floor, looking as calm and serene as ever. He held one hand against Chris's hair. Piper could see the faint golden glow and she could only assume he was trying to offer what comfort he could.

She found it slightly ironic that Leo, who had been one of her staunchest supporters in her crusade against Chris, had so readily and easily accepted him as his son; especially when she herself was still struggling with assimilating her new knowledge of her growing family.

"Piper," spoke Phoebe, her voice so soft and empathetic. "The potion's ready." Phoebe paused awkwardly when Piper didn't respond. "We we're thinking, I could take it, and be the one to go…" She trailed off, uncertain.

"No," spoke Piper. "It should be me." Piper didn't know where the words came from, especially when she couldn't even make herself cross the room and look at her sleeping son up close. But she knew it had to be her. Mother's magic she supposed even as her lips twisted wryly.

"Okay," murmured Phoebe. Paige walked up with the vial, the liquid was clear. Piper took it from her sister, the container warm against her skin, the heat from its creation still warming the potion.

"We can still go with you," put in Paige hating to be left out of any action.

"No," stated Piper. Leo's eyes met hers and they seemed to be begging her to save their son. Without any other thoughts, or giving herself a chance to back out, she swallowed the liquid. The effects were immediate, she heard more than felt, her sisters helping her to lay down. She was growing colder and colder.

She tried not to be afraid.

Giving in to the blackness, Piper let go. And came to on a rocky beach, alone.

She could see him, in the gray and turbulent water, white foam circling around his legs. He was standing, bent against the sharp wind, looking so cold and alone. His shaking form was the only splash of color, a stark contrast against the darkened sky and swirling sea.

She still didn't know if she wanted to touch him or not.

But she was here and that had to count for something. Hesitantly she picked her way over the rocky beach until her boots sank into the mucky sand at the shoreline. She knew her sisters remained by her body in the manor, ready as they always were, but this … this had to come from her.

Chris still seemed so unreachable.

"Chris," called Piper. Her voice was lost in the shouting wind, alien and distant, it seemed even to her own ears. He didn't move, just stared over her shoulder as the water climbed higher and higher. The cold was biting now, icy tendrils hammering through the soft fabric of her clothes, its breathy kiss numbing her skin. "Chris," she tried again. Piper tried to act as she would to a terrified and lost Wyatt, but mothering an angst- driven, grown, mistrustful white lighter was apparently as not as natural; she felt adrift. This wasn't something a band aid and a kiss from mommy could fix.

No, this was something more. Piper wasn't even sure if it could be fixed, if _he _could be fixed; but she had to try.

Piper looked at Chris again, tried to picture him as a baby, _my baby_; all she could see was long limbs and tangled hair. And pain, she thought she might be able to touch the pain itself before touching him because it seemed so palpable and alive. He lifted his head and her breath stalled in her throat.

"Why are you here?"

Over the last several months, Piper had heard Chris sound angry, determined, sarcastic, but she had never heard his voice sound so young before. She looked at him again, and suddenly before her astonished gaze, his form began to alter.

Long limbs shrunk back into themselves, unruly hair shortened, and the angular planes of his face softened. Piper found herself face to face with a miniature version of her adult son. In his luminous eyes overflowing with tears, she found something she could connect with. _This _Chris was soft, maybe this Chris she could save.

Instinct taking over, Piper waded out into the deep. Almost instantly the water grew higher, rougher, and lighting crashed above her head; and still she moved forward.

"I've missed you so much, Momma," spoke Chris. His lower lip trembled and large, fat tears rolled down his face.

"I'm here now, Chris."

"But you're not, not really."

Piper pushed against the tide, wading further and further out, trying to reach Chris. "I am, I'm right in front of you."

A look of devastation ripped across his features, a kaleidoscope of visceral pain and loss. Seamlessly he morphed to an older Chris, an adolescent with coltish limbs and awkward features, caught in the gracelessness of growing.

"You left me, mom. You left and it started the end!" Each word grew louder, more angrier, until his voice was hoarse from screaming. The thunder crashed and the sound almost threw Piper off her feet. The vibrations of the crash reverberated deep in her chest.

"I won't leave, baby. I'm here now and I won't leave. I promise." Piper didn't know what he was referring too, hoped to God he wasn't talking about her future death, she only knew she had to reach him; soon. She could feel the time running out like an hourglass fractured and tipped over, the grains of sand dissolving apart with no direction.

He laughed and it was bitter and sharp. A broken sound from a broken boy. It hurt her ears.

He was the familiar Chris again, jaded, tired, and worn.

"I know you don't want to leave, but you will," replied Chris, conversationally as if they weren't discussing the destruction of everything. "And the family will try and hold on, but one by one, we crumble and fall apart. And then it's only me and Wyatt and Wyatt's the devil." Chris's voice broke and with it a piece of Piper's heart. She didn't want to believe him.

But she did.

"I thought I could come back and fix it, before it ever went wrong. But I can't do it on my own."

Piper rushed forward, surging through the torrential storm, fighting for ground, fighting for her son. "You won't be alone, Chris. We'll help now. We're sorry, _I'm sorry,_ that we didn't believe you. But I'm here now. We can do it now, together." The thought of her baby boy, of Wyatt being anything but the greatest power of good, sat rancid in her chest; but she couldn't deny the sound of truth behind Chris's raw words so she pushed it away and focused on the son in front of her.

"I don't think… I don't think he can be saved … not anymore." With that soul rending revelation Chris plunged under the water, disappearing from Piper's view.

"Chris. Chris," she screamed frantically, eyes ghosting over the horizon searching for any sign of her youngest son. Piper didn't know what happened if you died in your dreams but she'd already failed Chris enough, she wasn't risking him again.

Sucking a huge lungful of precious air, she dove deep into the abyss.

It was dark and murky, she couldn't see, and her fingertips clawed nothing but water. No Chris. Refusing to give up, ignoring the burning desperate ache in her lungs, Piper continued to swim. She pushed through the current, fought against the waves, until she had to breathe. Surging up, choking on mouthfuls of salty water, she breached the top. Piper paused long enough to refill her oxygen starved lungs and then dove back down again.

A swatch of color caught the corner of her eye. A red shirt, the color of blood the only color against the black and blue depths. It was Chris and her heart soared even as she pushed her body deeper, faster, to reach him. He lay on the sandy floor, unresisting, eyes closed.

Piper fisted her hands in his shirt and tugged with all her strength, determined to get Chris to the top and out of the God forsaken water. Every muscle in her body was burning, trembling with exhaustion despite the continual pumping of adrenaline. Tucking Chris close to her breast with one arm, she swam.

Piper broke the surface, ungracefully spitting salt water, as she pulled Chris above the water line. Gradually, with each shaking step out of the water, the sea calmed, the wind died, and the sun broke through the rapidly scattering clouds. Collapsing down on the sand, she cradled turned Chris on his side and began to beat on his back, until he too coughed up great mouthfuls of ocean. She pulled Chris to her, cradling his head against her chest, both of them sprawled on the sand.

"You just have to wake up baby, and I'll be there," Piper promised, lips brushing against Chris's dark hair. "I'll be there," she said again stubbornly. "You don't have to be alone." She could feel the pull of her sister's magic calling to her, anchoring her back to reality. "I promise," she repeated before she gave in and closed her eyes. Falling to rest over Chris, Piper didn't notice as the world around them began to dissolve.

AN II: Please review. I'm still not sure what I think about this chapter, but I couldn't wrestle with it anymore. I could see what I wanted in my head so perfectly, getting it to paper a little bit more challenging. Let me know your thoughts. Thank you for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

AN I: Sorry for the long wait between updates. I don't own Charmed. I only own the mistakes. I would love to hear from you, always….On with the story.

Chris could feel the couch, lumpy in all the right remembered spots, coils poking into his tender muscles and achy joints. He knew from experience he was in the attic; that he was home. _Not your home, _he reminded himself, not now. He could feel the tension around him, and without even opening his eyes he could tell the sisters and Leo were sitting, surrounding him, staring.

If Chris didn't remember other sickbed vigils from his youth, he might be more unnerved, as it was he bit back a sigh, unconsciously licking dry and bitten lips. The sting from his own saliva won an involuntary wince and Chris heard Piper's indrawn breath at his minute movement. God, he didn't want to deal with Piper right now.

His _mom_, sure. But not Piper.

The embarrassment at his untimely revelation, the soul scraping breakdown she witnessed behind his walls, it was too much. Chris has been alone too long to let her in now. If he allowed himself to need her, to love her again…. Even in the future, he was sure, Wyatt would find a way to ruin and taint any iota of happiness Chris sequestered for himself. It wasn't a risk Chris was willing to take; he no longer believed in happily ever after, justice, or even fate.

His heart was already in shambles; nothing left to break, fracture, or lose.

"Chris," she said gently, running her fingers through his hair. He tried not to flinch at her touch. It was, after all, a cheap imitation of the long-lost real thing and it hurt to feel it almost as much as to _not _feel it.

"I know you can hear me." She paused, probably working up the best way to tell him to get out, never see them again, shrivel up and die if he had the opportunity. All things she had screamed at him lately. "I know you don't feel well, and you've been through so much." Piper's voice broke and a sob, barely muffled, sounded like a falling anvil against the stifling quiet of the normally bustling attic.

"Ohh sweetie," murmured Phoebe. And she too placed her hand against Chris's shoulder. An effortless show of familial unity; Phoebe had always been cool like that.

"Yeah, dude. Can't play possum forever," added Paige. She nudged her foot up against his

Leo didn't say anything but when he laid his hand against Chris's slack fingers, Chris could feel the touch of his father's warm skin, no doubt emitting his golden glow. He couldn't remember the last time his father had voluntarily touched him.

They were all touching him and it was too much. He felt like he had a thousand ants running underneath his skin. In the future people were dying. Chris was supposed to fix it. Instead he was stuck on this awkward, heart breaking rollercoaster ride with the Charmed Ones.

Screw this, he needed to act.

Before even fully opening his eyes, he dissolved into swirling beautiful blue, and re-formed on the other side of the attic, crouched low, eyes panicked. His magical energy was still depleted, rocky and wavering, but orbing was his first power gained and his last to leave. The certainty that he was no longer held hostage was freeing and with it, he straightened.

They were still staring, all of them, and the weight of their silent expectations was thick and cloying. Chris glanced at the door, at the ceiling, anywhere but at the faces of his not-family.

"Chris," Piper began, hands held out in front of her, placating. Her voice was calm, her motions smooth, as if she was trying to calm a wild animal.

With a sharp jerk of his hand, he halted her movement. "Stop," Chris bit out, "just stop."

"Okay," Piper murmured, instantly freezing, now just a few feet in front of her sisters and Leo. Chris felt cornered, he almost bared his teeth, subconsciously wanting to show her how feral he could be, but he clamped down on his anxiety driven impulses and focused on the mission.

The mission.

Remembering the mission had kept him alive more times that he cared to count. It would work now too, it had to. The world depended on the sanctity and the success of the mission.

"Look, ahhh," Chris ran a hand agitatedly though his hair, pulling on the messy brown strands, while he searched for the words. "Nothing's changed okay, I'm still here to save Wyatt, and I still can't tell you about the future."

"Baby…" Piper's voice trailed off at the shattered look Chris threw her way at her words. She cleared her throat and tried again, "Chris, _everything's_ changed. We're so sorry that we mistreated you. We want to make it right."

"We want to help," put in Phoebe.

"We still need to know the truth," added Paige.

"But, only so we can help you," finished Leo.

"No," murmured Chris. He could feel the burning in his eyes and throat, signifying tears. That was the opposite of what he needed right now, only they just keep staring at him. "No," he repeated more forcibly. "Nothing has changed. I will save Wyatt, with or without your help. And then you won't have to deal with me ever again."

Piper felt her cheeks heat rapidly with the culmination of her shame. Chris's words were taken verbatim from what she has screamed at him the other day. She almost didn't hear Leo speak, so focused was she on Chris's shuttered gaze.

"Save Wyatt from what, Chris? What happens in the future that's so terrible? What hurts our boys, Chris?" With each word Leo's voice grew more and more desperate and Piper understood because it was a desperation she shared; a parent's worst fear, an inability to save her children. Still, she turned and elbowed Leo sharply in the gut. He didn't weather the storm with Chris; he didn't see the extent and depth of his pain.

"Leo shouldn't push him," murmured Phoebe.

"He looks ready to bolt, "confirmed Paige.

"What hurts your boys," Chris asked his voice cracking with incredulity. "Wyatt hurts your boys. Your darling angel hurts the world. He rips it apart, piece by piece. He crumbles it under his feet, and he laughs while the world weeps." Chris sucked in huge lungful's of gaping stinging breath. Across from him, Leo and the sisters sputtered weak denials. Only Piper stood strong and met his gaze.

"This is why I can't tell you about the future. You don't need to know what happens, no one will ever need to know if I can just fix it."

"Chris," choked out Leo, seemingly deflating with each passing second. His elder robes looked wilted and his face a pale greenish gray. He turned to Piper, "not Wyatt, not our baby."

"Why not, I'm your son too, and you were ready to condemn me. I didn't even get the luxury of a trial."

"Well, you have to admit, a lot of your actions could be misconstrued, Chris. Why didn't you just tell us the truth?" Leo was grasping at straws, blinded in his grief at the thought of an evil Wyatt. He didn't see Chris flinch, but Piper did.

Why would you ever believe me," screamed Chris. "You never back me up." All of his control was fracturing and breaking around him, tattered and ripped. He was left flailing. "My whole life, you've never been there when I needed you." Struggling to re-orient, he again straightened and drew in a ragged breath. "We have to focus on the mission."

"Okay, Chris," soothed Piper. "Just tell us what you need us to do."

He looked at Piper in surprise, his expression guarded. She knew it was a make it or break it type of moment, she'd already lost too many chances with Chris, chances she didn't even know existed. Piper couldn't afford to screw this one up.

"Phoebe get a pen and paper. We're going to make a list. Paige, grab the book, let's move this party downstairs." Piper felt better already, getting things organized. Chris was still watching her with wide and wary eyes. "Let's sit downstairs and discuss your plan Chris. No more questions, no more talk of the future. We'll make a battle plan, and we'll save Wyatt; together.

"Ummmm, okay." Chris seemed unsure of how to react around this new Piper. This was his mother in battle mode. He found himself complying, just out of habit. He almost smiled as he saw Leo fall in line as well.

Piper did smile. She wanted to try and get some food into Chris. He was too skinny. Then maybe they could all focus on saving the world. And she could save Chris too.

AN II: Please review. I struggled to find Chris's voice, I found myself falling back into Piper. Thanks for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

AN I: Sorry for the long wait, I hope this is up to snuff. I struggled with it forever and finally couldn't look at it anymore. It's kind of a bridge chapter anyway. I own nothing except the mistakes and I live off of reviews….please and thank you!

Piper's announcement had taken him by surprise. Chris hadn't really thought she would believe him. When it came down to it, Wyatt was the favored son and he, Chris, was just the annoying busybody whitelighter from the future who broke up her marriage and destroyed her life.

But oddly enough she had and Chris found himself taking her hand and orbing his mother downstairs as requested. Her hand was warm in his, her grip soft and sure. His heart ached all the more for having touched her and thought of his mother. Because she wasn't his mother, technically not yet. No matter how much he missed her and how much he longed to throw himself into her arms, he had to keep reminding himself of that one important fact.

It would hurt too much to lose her all over again. But even if he was successful, saving Wyatt didn't necessarily guarantee saving Piper. And fate had always been such an unforgiving bitch.

"Thank you, sweetheart," she murmured as she gripped his hand and ruffled his hair before turning to search for a pen and paper. His mom did love her lists and it looked like she was ready to get down to business. Her long brown hair was tucked up in a messy pony tail and her wrists jingled with her movement, the thin silver bracelets clinking against one another as she settled at the table with her supplies.

"How about you tell us what you know and we can go from there, try and figure out who turns Wyatt together. As a family."

Chris felt some of the chill in his bones thaw at the depth of feeling in Piper's earnest look. She was sitting at the table, pen in hand, poised and ready to write. It be kinda funny if it weren't so damn sad. Because in all honesty Chris didn't know what to say. No one had ever figured out the cause of the root of Wyatt's evil inclinations. It was why Chris had been chosen to come back, as the only other surviving Halliowell, he would have insider information, hopefully give the resistance against Wyatt the best chance possible.

Give _the little brother_ trying to save his big brother the best chance possible.

They were all looking at him, waiting, his family. The sisters weren't quite so beaten down by life yet, still young and vibrant and beautiful. Chris's mouth went dry as his tortious brain reminded him what they had looked like, dead and broken. He blinked harshly to clear the painful memoires, as he stood frozen, awkward in the silent wake of Piper's unanswered question.

All those months of wishing the sisters and Leo would just help him and now Chris had no idea what to do with them, how to direct them through the landmines of future events without causing further damage. And his head really hurt, it was pounding actually.

Unconsciously, he reached a hand up, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighed. He didn't even realize his move was mimicking Leo's earlier stress headache. But Piper did and the father/son similarity made her smile.

Risking a glance, Chris sighed again, tensed shoulders drooping. Jesus, were they really all still staring at him. He had to fight the urge to orb away.

"I don't know what to tell you. Some stuff I can't tell you, it really would make the future worse."

Piper's crestfallen expression was like taking an ice pick to the chest.

"You must have had some sort of plan," asked Paige incredulously.

"Ever heard of the expression Hail Mary," spoke Chris.

"Oh Jesus," muttered Paige as Piper shut her eyes.

"Chris," came Leo's quiet voice, "can you tell us what you do know, what you _think _you can tell us."

"Yeah, like a clue," put in Phoebe her eyes shining encouragingly. Piper placed her paper and pen on the table carefully like they were made of glass. She too looked at Chris. God, he didn't want to disappoint his mother. Piper crossed the kitchen and took one of Chris's fidgety hands in hers.

"It's okay baby, one step at a time. We'll figure it out together." She smiled warmly at Leo as he too came to stand shoulder to shoulder with their son.

"You can do it buddy, just pick the stuff you think is pertinent," intoned Leo.

"Yeah, and tell me who's ass I need to kick," put in Paige laughing. She looked surprised when Chris let out a tremulous laugh himself.

"You said the same thing when I was in the third grade and came home with a bloody nose, Aunt Paige." Immediately after, Chris shut his mouth, his eyes showing his own surprise at the slip into terms of familiarity. Paige swallowed and then grinned, it hadn't sounded weird being addressed as Aunt Paige at all.

"Well, I hope I did," she remarked.

"No," responded Chris, a wry grin tugging the corner of his mouth up, highlighting his dimples. "Wyatt beat you to it, Tommy Jenkins never stole my lunch again after that." The room seemed to dim a little at the mention of Wyatt. Chris cleared his throat. "Ahhhh, anyway, We think it happened sometime before I was born. Wyatt was kidnapped around that time, he was missing for a week before you guys found him wandering around in the underworld. The impending birth had everyone rattled, distracted." At this he smiled self-deprecatingly. "Apparently carrying me did not afford you a, get- out -of- jail -free, protective shield."

"Okay," said Leo, taking it all in stride. "When were you born so we know when Wyatt went missing? Do you know who took him?"

"Ahhh, the last week in September. I'm not sure if giving you guys the exact date could mess up my birth, maybe give you a Christina instead of a Chris." At this, Chris's eyes sparkled with mischievous mirth, giving Piper a small clue to who her son was before the world changed, forcing him to change as well. She needed to focus, Chris was still talking. "And growing up you guys didn't say who took him. Apparently you didn't know either, you just found him wandering around by himself. He looked unharmed, just terrified. Or so the story goes."

Piper moaned low and desperate at the thought of Wyatt alone and scared. He would have been just a baby. He is just a baby, she reminded herself. This hasn't happened yet, it can change. Phoebe reached over and patted Piper's shoulder comfortably.

"So, what was the big bad around that time, any ideas on who we can start to focus in on," she asked.

Chris scrunched up his face in concentration and the whole room waited, on pins and needles. Come on baby, thought Piper, give mommy something to blow up.

"Well, Klepar demons were big that year and I remember erethreals having some big convergence in the seventh dimension. But those were the only big things highlighted in the magical history books. In our book, there were entries about something called the Shisku. There were pages, several in fact, detailing the Shisku love of magical Wiccan infant blood as the main delicacy in their thrice yearly sacrificial feasts. I always assumed that's what had you guys so distracted."

The sound of half bitten off growls mixing with the scratch of pen against paper had Chris leaning over his mother's shoulder to read her list.

Kelpar Demons

Erethreals

Shisku

Tommy Jenkins

"Mom," laughed Chris. "Tommy Jenkins, really?"

Piper smirked. "Nobody messes with my baby and gets away with it."

"He only wanted my lunch cause his mom made him buy the stupid cafeteria food and your cooking rocks." Piper glowed at her son's heartfelt remarks, not to mention he'd willingly called her mom.

"Well, at least it's a start," she said. "Alright, Paige you've got Kelpar demons. Pheebs, erethreals. Leo, go up there and find out what you can about Shisku demons."

"And go team," yelled Phoebe before cheekily smiling and bouncing off towards the attic.

"And just what are you going to do Missy," asked Paige.

"I'm going to feed our boy," answered Piper, calmly bustling around the kitchen. Chris had just been about to orb out to help with the research when he heard his mother's declaration. Leo and Paige orbed out with their marching orders as Chris turned around.

"Awwwww, mom," he wheedled. "We don't have time to eat right now. We have to find what changes Wyatt."

"Yes, we do answered Piper calmly, continuing on her self-appointed task. "But I can see every one of your ribs Christopher and no son of mine is going to go hungry."

Chris bit the inside of his cheek and before he could stop himself the words rolled out, unbidden from between his lips. "Everyone's hungry in the future, mom." Piper flinched, as she stirred the pot on the stove. Closing her eyes briefly she determinedly refocused on her son.

"Well, we're just going to have to fix that aren't we?"

Chris didn't answer but he didn't try and leave the kitchen either. And when Piper dished out his meal, he ate every bite.

Yes, Piper thought. It was a start.

AN II: thanks for reading, I would love any thoughts you would like to give me!


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